I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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