i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
