Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
