My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
