Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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