they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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