If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
