If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize