every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
