do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
