Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Couch. On fire.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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