Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize