And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize