My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
