oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I have tasted many bathrooms
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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