So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
