i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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