I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
