we have officially lost it.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We have started to decorate penises.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm like, not good at living.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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