im six kinds of drunk right now
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Green mimosas i think yes
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
