if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
