Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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