Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
"it" just moved
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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