I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
