I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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