He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
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