eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
bring money and cleavage
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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