perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
