How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
