Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
