Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
porn star boner night. come get it.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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