Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
