We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
