at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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