but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
