Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
