The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
