I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I supernannyed him into submission
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
