It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You ruined the universe
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
