Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
