coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
