Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
