my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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