Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
you're hired as official boob wrangler
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
