trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
