I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
