Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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