I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
mondays should just be called national damage control day
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The air was thick with penises
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize