maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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