i would punch a child for taco bell
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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