Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
