when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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