I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
