You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize