I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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