I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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