If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
