It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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