Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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