Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
